How not to be a dick at gigs

I have terrible luck when it comes to gigs. Each time I arrive, smiley and excited, full of optimism. Each time my dreams get summarily crushed by an extremely irritating person standing in front of me. Shoutout to all the mosh pits that happen to form precisely five inches away from my nose. Shoutout to all the six-foot-plus men who push through the crowd only to stop right in front of poor 5’1 me. And the biggest shoutout of all to the woman who kept hitting me in the face with her ponytail every single time she turned round to scream at her friend: ‘This is such a good gig, isn’t it?’. I hate you all. So here are my top ways not to be a dick at gigs!

Chvrches, Big Weekend 2014 – because you can get good photos when the crowd are actually lovely